set the laser printer on stun
I’m hungry. I’m so damn hungry, that all I have the energy to do is lay the side of my head on this wood floor and type this entry with one finger. Murphy the dog has the entire house to be in, and she chooses to lay across my legs and lick the floor. I am sucked in by her cuteness…until ….she starts farting….which she is doing right now. Dog/human bonding time is now officially over.
Although, to be truthful, she actually doesn’t have the run of the house since I decided to move the futon to the other bedroom and wedged it in the hallway. This has separated my house pretty much in half. I’m still not quite sure what to do about that particular dilemma.
Just so you all know….I am still looking for a personal supervisor. So, if anyone is interested, just let me know. The applications have been flooding in, but I’m having trouble deciding. I’m very particular you know.
Job duties would include:
*Listening to my dumb stories ad nauseum.
*Making sure I do not fall off things or burn the house down.
*listening to my crazy schemes politely, then skillfully diverting my attention to activities that would cause less bodily and emotional harm.
*eating food with me.
*not letting me walk out of the house if my hair or outfit looks dumb.
*giving me pep talks when I inevitably come home and fling myself on the ground crying and saying things like, “I just can’t take it anymore”, or, ” WHY, WHY, WHY is life so hard?”.
You better hurry though. I’ve been swamped. I scan through hundreds of applications a day. I’ve narrowed it down, but I’ll give it a little more time…you know….just to be sure.
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