help! help! I’m buried in a foot of snow and can’t get out.

Fucking snow *shaking fist at the sky* Goddamned fucking snow.

Two weeks and three days until I get to Austin. Two weeks and three days until my house is oficially for sale.

It’s been so long since I’m written…I’ve forgotten how to write. Here’s a list to catch you up with the exciting whirlwind, thrilling tale, riviting reading material that is my life:

1. Took a self defense class where I kicked the crap out of a fully padded attacker. I’ll be posting the video in a few weeks when I get it.

2. Went to Florida for a week where Mr. X’s parents and my parents met. I am happy to report that the Montiques and the Capulets love each other so, Mr. X and I will not have to sneak around and accidentally drink poison. <—-analogy/joke that doesn’t make 100% sense, but just humor me and go with it.

The End….that’s all. I could tell you about yoga….not interesting, not being able to find a short term job….not interesting, my fight with the health insurance company…..slightly interesting. It’s only slightly interesting because I decided to get stoned before I called them….which helped immensely. I actually didn’t feel so bad about them taking bunches of money from me, screwing around with approving past claims, letting me rack up debt with ongoing current claims, then sending me a letter telling me that they’ve looked into it (for six months) and they’re not paying for a treatment that THE MAN considers experimental. Fucking MAN. After that phone call, was the call to the rip-off used computer store to whom I sold a $1,200 monitor for $125.00….four months ago and still haven’t gotten a check. Every time I call, it seems the person that I talked to previously that was going to take care of things is “no longer with the company”.

I’m still slightly baked, but that last paragraph must have angered me because I just had a fantasy of my combat booted foot going through the glass dessert cabinet at Starbucks.

Dear red glasses,

I am happy we are together again, although I am troubled by your attitude. You seem to feel that I purposely threw you behind the toilet like a piece of unwanted trash. I would never do that, and it hurts me to think that you would believe something like that about me.

I on the other hand, feel that you were (maybe still are) trying, at all costs, to get away from me. Maybe you thought you’re doing me a favor, that you were just an easy crutch that I could never wean myself off of alone. You saw me taking my eye health vitamin formula and figured you were on the way out anyway….so you jumped.

Red glasses, I promise you, that even by some miraculous miracle my eyes become perfect, I will never forsake you…….ever.

with love and constant devotion,
Cindigodotcom

When people ask me what I do, and I say massage therapist, I see their eyes move back and forth putting me in a specific place on the “food chain” that is much lower that I am used to. Sometimes it annoys me, because I have a big ego, but most of the time I just smile and remind myself not to judge people.

I had a whole rant about that…..but I don’t feel like it.

I’m looking out the window at this cold, naked, rough, cracked tree blowing in the wind. I’m in a room full of people that are talking to each other and not paying attention to the world outside. It looks like the tree is waving it’s branches like hands while saying, “look at me, HEY, (tap,tap,tap), I’m right here guys”.

You think maybe I’m projecting?
Naw….me either.

I took a ridiculous class this weekend. I did it to fulfill my last four elective hours. It was the only one that fit so I didn’t have to pay extra money. The class was aligning chakras. The teacher was talking about colors and what they mean and specifically looked directly at me while she was talking about the color black. Acording to her, black is all about absolutes and fervent searching. It might have had something to do with my shoes, socks, pants, shirt, sweatshirt, leather jacket and bag all being black….but I don’t know, I like to think she was just sensing my depth of my deepness. I noticed that when we were doing “purification” exercises (don’t ask) she went around to every person in the room to help….except me. She must have sensed my closed off aura and decided to avoid my blackness.

The class was annoying because of it’s total subjective slant, and because 85% of the class are the wack-a-doos that make people raise an eyebrow when I say “massage therapist”. I do believe in most of that “stuff”, chakras, reflexology, energy work….but it takes years, and years…..and YEARS to understand and practice with any kind of creditibility. I’m sick of people bragging that they were born with a gift, waving their hands around and thinking that they have made some sort of significant change.

But that’s me, and maybe I’m the one that just doesn’t get it.

Sorry, that may have been boring…..sometimes I can’t tell.

two things and I am done.

One: red glasses…..still missing. It’s been about a week now.

Two: I have more of little C’s journal to transcribe…..I just didn’t feel like it right now.

Three (I know I said two, but I just thought of one more): I was going to get my nose re pierced yesterday, but I’m taking a self defense class where I learn how to beat up guys wearing padded foam suits. Geesh, you don’t really hear about many people being attacked by guys like that but, you know me, always be prepared for the niche criminal. I thought an inflamed nose would impair my ability to kick ass….so I refrained. That’s two weekends in a row. Then I’m going to see the parents, so I refrain again. Who needs that old school grief? That almost brings me to Austin in March. So, Austin peeps, remind and refer me to a good studio with sharp needles with a bar that we can have drinks at around the corner.

Even though it’s not more pictures of my old room…..here’s a pic ofCindigo’s high school driver’s licence

One of my friends came up behind me and suddenly put her hands heavily on my head. I was sitting, she was standing.

I turned and said, “Oh, thank god it’s you. I thought it might have been a heat tile.”

*sound of crickets chirping*

Dear red glasses,

Please come home. I miss you. My life is a blurry and confusing place without you in my life.

with love,
Cindigo