Sicker.

Much worse.

I think I might die again. I know I said it last time and Andy proved me wrong. But this time, this time is the big one.

The dry coughing is making the blood vessels in my head on the verge of bursting.

The best Saturday night ever.

We moved the coffee table and made a nest and just finished watching….Chupacabra: Dark Seas, on the Sci Fi channel. People just let me say one thing, if you see one movie this year, make it Chupacabra: Dark Seas. Entertaining and educational too. Did you know that the literal translation of Chupacabra is “goat sucker”.

Andrew my favorite, and only husband is making me hot (cashew) milk and honey (cactus sugar). I’ve lost my voice and have a sore throat. It seems to get worse at night and put me into random coughing fits that burn and make my side sore. After not being sick for what seems like years, now it feels like I’m getting some kind of virus every other week.

That is all to report from Chupacabra central.

My mom called me while I was making lunch. It was the fourth time that day, and it was only 2:00. The three messages before I actually talked to her were manic, over the top and went on way over the appropriate message allotment time. She talked about the sky, her husband, the weather, that she was bored. She told me to make sure I call my sister at least three times because…and then she went into obscene amounts of detail as to why.

The fourth call was while I was making lunch. I hadn’t eaten all day and was past critical mass. I get ugly when this happens. I picked up and told her that I was irritated and hungry at the moment and to stop calling, I would call her back later. She said okay, and then went on to ask if I wanted her extra metal detector. I said “no”, and repeated that I was going. She went on to question why I wouldn’t want a metal detector and to point out all of the great features, it’s expense and how much fun it would be on camping trips. I repeated that I was irritated, hungry and that I was making lunch so I was going to go, in a voice I usually reserve for Murphy the dog when she’s pissing me off. She laughed, mocked me in a baby voice “oooohhhh, are youuuuuu madddddd? Why are you soooo maddddd”. Then in a regular voice, “How does Andy deal with you when your like this?” I answered, “Well, first of all he doesn’t laugh at me and mock my pain.” I told her I would call her later and the conversation ended.

The only person to blame here is me. I never should have picked up that phone in my condition.

Even after I told her that I would call her later, she called me again. She was laughing and mocking in the same way. I know it’s the bizarro connections in her brain that make it impossible for her to deal with any emotion or situation out of her control. Or that she feels some sort of weird competition with me in which any situation that she can try to make me inferior and her superior, she’ll take, no matter how ridiculous, strange and immature it looks in the “real” world. Or, she was just having some sort of undiagnosed manic episode. I know these things, and really, it’s not my problem. I told her again I would call her later.

Andy and I went camping last night in the Eurovan. We were out of cell range because of the mountains so I didn’t call back. On the way home, I called to say I was feeling better and apologize for my rude behavior. I’m glad I called before I got home to get this email.

……………………………………………………………………………
dear cynthia, i am rather shocked and a bit dismayed at the response i
receiveed from you during our telephone conversation. i have take your
number out of my cell phone and will only call you on an emergency basis. i
will use email for other times. i am worried that someting is wrong. how
is you health/ i know you said you were hungry when you called, but it
sounded more than that to me, later when i called again, i thought you
would be over whatever, but you weren’t. i am sorry i disturbed you, love
mom
……………………………………………………………………………

So good, I said sorry, mom feels like a vindicated victim / superior, masking her raging inferiority complex / martyred and in control…all is right again in the universe.

Is it just me, or is every new tv show based in, or about something related to Las Vegas?

When we were in LA (Pasadena) we had dinner with my old junior high / high school friend Hollie. There were a few stories that I had forgotten. It’s embarrassing and a little troubling because, these are pretty major stories.

This shouldn’t really be surprising to me though. Andy teases me sometimes because one of the most vivid memory he has of us together in fourth grade, no matter how many different ways he describes it, I have no memory of whatsoever.

We both lived about a mile away from the Arlington Park Racetrack. Sometimes the Goodyear blimp would fly overhead when they held the Arlington Million in the summer. This particular time, we were in my back yard in my tree house watching as the blimp malfunctioned. It was loosing altitude and practically crashing in my back yard. He tells me that the blimp was so close to the ground that you could see the expressions of horror on the pilots faces. The story has been corroborated by others who remember the event.

Embarrassing story #1.

Working at Arby’s fast food restraunt. I at least remembered that part. What I didn’t remember is being infatuated with the fry cook. Hollie described it as more of an admiration of power, not a physical lust. He was older, probably ten years older than our fifteen years. Because of this, he was allowed to make fries, and I was not.

I really, really wanted to work the deep fryer.

I had no recollection of this, but, as she told it, twinges and flashes of recognition made me feel the squirmy and uncomfortable feeling that it was true. Somehow, probably by my invitation, the fry cook came over to Hollie’s mom’s apartment with some sort of sugary, syrupy alcohol that we refused to drink. Then he wanted us to take our shoes off and show him our feet. We refused again. At this point, we finally figured out that the fry cook might not be on the up and up, and ran out of the house and hid in the park until he left.

Embarrassing story #2.

Hollie’s mom left us alone in the house when she went out. She left us to our own devices quite a bit. We decided to re-heat some onion rings. We forgot about them and they burst into flames in the oven.

As the house filled with smoke and the fire alarms went off, we got the flaming mess out of the oven and threw it in the sink where we ignorantly doused the grease fire with water. Flames flared and scorched the walls. Somehow we got the inferno out of the glass sliding door and into the yard where we kicked dirt all over it.

We were taking all of the batteries out of the smoke detectors when we heard the fire engines. We hid behind the couch while the firemen went door to door trying to locate the source. They finally left and we spent the rest of the weekend cleaning black soot off of everything in the kitchen.

Embarrassing story #3.

I used to have a yellow moped that we named Mo-mo. I decided that it would be fun and challenging to drive Mo-mo to Hollie’s house in a neighboring suburb half an hour away. I didn’t have a motorcycle license, which I needed to drive legally. In fact, I don’t even think I had a regular license. I was pulled over by the cops and taken to “jail”.

Jail was actually a chair next to a police officer’s desk. I called Hollie and she got out of work early and rounded up $200 from our friends and got me out so I didn’t have to tell my mom. The best part was that after we paid, they gave us the keys back and we rode it the rest of the way to her house.

I’ve been out of touch lately. No returning phone calls or emails. It’s just a cycle, anyone taking it personally, don’t.

I got a job at a bar on Freemont street. The high road would have been to go back to work at a spa. But the low road pays much better in less time and taxes. Andy was all for me staying home and being poker support, but I just couldn’t sit around the house anymore. We figured that if we both worked three days a week, we could leave town for the other four. So far, staying up all night has left us feeling sick and disoriented and we’ve used the four days just to get back to a normal schedule. Tomorrow is the start of another work “week”.

*begin boring entry*

For all of you holding your breath out there, worring that I am without a phone and terrified about the possibility of me breaking the law by making a “false” police report about a water logged phone that was “stolen”….it might just be the battery.

It turns on when plugged into the charger, but won’t make calls without the battery. A twelve dollar ebay battery purchace may remedy the problem.

I’m sick again. Nothing serious, just a cold. I think the inhaled chemicals from the health club whirlpool may be a major contributer.

*end of boring entry*

My phone took a bath today in my plastic lined, red, fake snake skin shoulder bag. Someone (maybe me…okay, it was me)didn’t tighten the cap on a full bottle of Aquafina water (okay regular water in an Aquafina bottle)and it poured out into the bottom. It made a fun, little mobile swimming pool for my month old replacement phone. Since the insurance doesn’t cover water damage I’m considering running it over with my car.

I believe that after the second claim in less than two months the insurance company will feel compelled to cancel my phone insurance.