Me, in a rock climbing harness attached to a ladder two stories high. Thanks to Mr. X for that stroke of engineering genius.

The painting of the living room that I started almost a year ago is finally done. Inspired by the exodus of the neighbors and their Little Giant extension ladder, I got to work.

In case your interested, here’s more pics of the house.

*photo credit:Gratuitous butt shot pic taken by Andy X.

To all my Austin peeps:

First, rent American Astronaut, then, see the Billy Nayer Show at Emo’s on April 14, and then tell me how great it is. We we’re considering spending the $800 for plane fare, and then realized just how dumb that would be.

I’m going out of the house, into the breech.

Wish me luck. It’s a rough world out there.

My girls left this morning. I was at the gym, so I didn’t even get to say a final goodbye. I’m going to miss those two terrors.

Something outside is making a screaming, moaning, grinding noise. I’m guessing it’s some part of large machinery that needs some WD40 from one of the many construction sites around the neighborhood. Andy has decided that a family of humpback whales has moved into one of the neighboring houses and property values are destined to go down because of it.

I don’t know, I think it might be kind of nice to have whales for neighbors. Pipe in some ocean sounds and maybe some piano background…volia….whole neighborhood relaxation.

The top half of our vaulted celing walls have gone unpainted for the last year. The top half remained white and the bottom was painted as far as my arms could reach while standing on a chair. While I was helping my neighbor move some stuff out of their storage space, she reminded me that she had a ladder that I could use. I think she offered before, but for some reason I thought it would be too short. I should have accepted sooner, it’s turning out perfect. It should be done tomorrow.

I thought I would tell you this story because all day today and yesterday I have been walking underneath a ladder while Toonces the black cat has been crossing my path.

I’m so glad that this isn’t a superstitious household.

Our neighbors are moving. Our crazy, unorganized, always something going wrong, dramatic neighbors. The always home, don’t worry we’ll take care of the dog while you go out of town for two weeks neighbors. We are going to miss our neighbors. Espically their two kids, Anna and Svetlana. The girls are five and seven. They were adopted by Mike and Nancy almost three years ago from Russia.

Anna, the younger sister has a habit of coming through the dog door to play with the animals. The few times that we’ve actually seen the casual way she comes through the door when we’re here, leads us to believe that she’s probably in here quite a bit while we’re gone. As long as nothing is broken or stolen, I’m alright with it. It’s probably fun for her and the animals. She sometimes goes by the name “Prince Eric” and wears a towel like a cape attached with rubber bands. Anna likes to cut her own hair.

Svetia is a girly girl who very much likes dresses and shoes and often wears a full on princess costume complete with tiara and sparkle shoes. She’s a very picky eater. Anything that is not sugar coated or chocolate is “yucky”. She just started first grade and likes school very much. I worry about her more than Anna. Sometimes she will throw her arms around my waist, give me a hug and either tell me that she loves me, or that Andy and I are her favorite neighbors.

Both of them come over sometimes and play “cats”, “monsters” or just to hang out. Mostly, they ride their bikes around the driveway. It’s always fun to turn your car in from the street and have them waving, smiling and yelling “HI, HI, HEY NEIGHBOR, HI!” A few days ago the three of us “washed” my truck in the driveway. Mostly is was just me putting them into and taking them out of the truck bed while they smeared wet dirt around on the surface, but it was fun.

I took the trash out this afternoon just as Nancy, their mom was taking their two dogs for a walk. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She doesn’t want to move. Unfortunately, Mike her husband’s carpet cleaning business didn’t take off like they had planned and a mountain of credit card and other debts made moving necessary for many reasons.

I gave her a hug and told her everything would be okay. I wish there was more that I could do. I know that I can’t. Mike and Nancy are the kind of people that are perpetually in need. I know that if I get too enmeshed they would be a bottomless pit of crisis that would drain everything I had in a short while. Who knows, this may be the major disaster that finally puts them on some sort of a more focused path. I just feel for these two bright, funny sparkling kids that I see being stifled and developing neurotic behaviors because of their well meaning but irresponsible, child like parents.

Tomorrow I’m going to go by some stationary, crayons, markers. I’m going to make up a package with with it and stamp and address some envelopes so they can write to us. Their grandma is coming out Wednesday to pick them up to take them to Phoenix. The new people will be moved in within two weeks.

Todd is here. Todd is Andy’s friend from Colorado. He inspired me to post some of the emails that Andy wrote me about the beginnings of his gambling career.

This was probably about two years after I quit that job in Boulder to play poker full time. My friend Todd had just graduated from CU (Boulder) and was hoping to become a professional poker player. I was very focused on my
game at the time and had been studying and putting a lot of thought into the finer points, especially “”tells”" (those body language giveaways that get soooo much play in the movies, but actually represent a very small portion of the profit in real life).

Todd had friends in Phoenix and wanted to drive down there for New Year’s Eve. We hit the road, planning to ring in the new year and play cards at Fort McDowell, which at the time was renowned for good action. When we hit Albuquerque, NM, there were billboards for Sandia Casino. A casino in New Mexico? We had no idea. Naturally, we pulled off the highway to check it out. The casino was in a tent! It looked like a huge one of those indoor tennis courts. Or are those ice skating rinks? Whatever it looked like wasn’t a casino, at any rate. To our further amazement there was a poker room in the tent, er, casino. I decided to play 10-20 holdem which, at the time, was a step up in limit for me. Todd joined me. We were both doing well and I was feeling very focused. As the night dragged on, the game got smaller. Eventually it was just Todd, some random guy, and me. I was up about $500.

The fewer opponents you have in a poker game, the less mathematical, and the more mental the game becomes. Very shorthanded games are also a situation in which tells can be very valuable. I was feeling very ready for this situation. After several hands against this guy, I picked up a tell too good to be true. It was 100% reliable. As the cards turned, he would glance quickly away if he liked his hand, or stare at the board (the community cards) if he did not. It was pretty quick and subtle, but unmistakable once you were looking for it. I felt like I was in a gambling movie. I wasn’t even paying attention to my cards, but just watching the guy. There was no way he could win. When he went to the bathroom, I tipped Todd onto the tell. When they guy finally gave up, I was up over $2000 and Todd almost $1000. This was a whole lot of money to us at the time. In retrospect I feel pretty bad for the guy, but at the time I felt like a superstar. I was sure I would make a million dollars playing poker in no time.

To this day I’ve never picked up a tell even remotely as reliable as that one. It was fun while it lasted.

On to Phoenix. We stayed with his friend Ajay and celebrated New Year’s Eve downtown. I saw a really great 80s cover band called Boogie Nights. Things were going so well Todd and I decided to hop a flight to Vegas.

I can’t for the life of me remember why we decided to stay at the MGM Grand. In theory, it was way too expensive for us and the limits were too large for any hope of getting comped. We got in at 2am, but our rooms wouldn’t be ready till noon. We were too tired for poker so we decided to goof around at blackjack. $25 was the minimum bet to get rated for comps. This was way too big for us, but we decided to give it a try with a couple hundred anyway. Neither of us knew how to count cards at the time, We were just gambling. The dealer must have busted 90% of his hands. In no time we were up over $500 each. I had never played craps before, and decided to give it a go. It’s not a beatable game, but at this point we were just having fun. Another $1000 each in less than an hour! Cashing out I was approached by a prostitute for the first and only time in my life (and no, of course, I didn’t). This was feeling more like a movie all the time.

We stayed up the whole night, the next day, and the next night. Table after table after table. We never lost. Sometime after I guess around 36 hours of nonstop gambling, I had to sleep. Todd opted to continue. I slept for over twelve hours and awoke to find that Todd hadn’t even been to the room yet. Yikes!

I found him at a blackjack table. After over 48 hours of drinking and gambling Todd had such an odor surrounding him, I’m surprised they didn’t refuse to deal him cards. As I watched, Todd reached the goal he had set, $10,000 up. As he stood up he knocked his drink towards his lap. It teetered on edge, seemed to balance there for a few moments, and then settled back onto the felt. A tired looking old man, the only other occupant of the table, was watching everything. He shook his head and grumbled “When you’re running good, you’re running good.”

Over the next couple day we toned it down a bit but continued to win at a more modest pace. I had one more amazing session at a craps table. A tiny lady in horn rimmed glassed who may or may not have been the freaky woman from the Poltergeist movies was having a phenomenal roll. She had been rolling for over 30 minutes (this is very long, if you’re not familiar with craps) and everyone at the table was cleaning up. An enormous black man in a suit was next to me and making all the same bets that I was. At times we would exchange knowing glances. The Poltergeist lady threw the dice and one of them ricocheted off a stack of chips, out of the table and on to the floor. Twelve people yell “SAME DICE!” in unison, but the man in the suit looks at me and says, in an incredibly deep voice, “It’s all over now, baby.”

The next roll: Seven Out (This is a bad thing, if you’re not familiar with craps).
Twelve people cash out in unison.

What was most remarkable to me about this trip wasn’t the amount of luck I had, which was truly extraordinary, but how often it felt scripted. I kept expecting to see the cameras, or at least to wake up. This was the Las Vegas of Hollywood. I’ve been back many times, but I’ve never seen that Vegas again. Not even close.

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I feel bad when I come downstairs in the morning and Andy has my website open, hoping that I’ve written something interesting about our life, and there’s nothing. It’s not that I don’t have things to write about, I just haven’t.

I haven’t seen this movie, but it’s downloading now…uhhh I mean renting it leagally now.

The reviews made me laugh. Only one positive out of 95! Check out rottentomatoes.com

“It’s only January, but I can’t imagine any upcoming film replacing ‘Alone in the Dark’ as my leading candidate for Worst Movie of 2005.”

“The three stars have seen better days, but I’d like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn.”

“Too stupid to watch, too loud to nap through, Alone in the Dark shows just how tenuous Plan Nine From Outer Space’s hold on that ‘worst movie ever’ title really is.”

Andrew my husband was gone, gone to Colorado. I had two whole days to myself and couldn’t manage a journal entry.

Almost a week ago, he was on the phone with his friend Vlad. Vlad was telling Andy about a great “play”. They were lamenting that Andy was so far away because it would have been potentially profitable for both of them. I was sitting next to him on the couch and casually said, “Why don’t you go?”. He paused, raised an eyebrow and started talking to Vlad about the logistics of getting to Colorado. It was finally decided that he would drive. I was nervous about the injured foot, but Mr. X insisted it would be fine, especially with cruise control.

He drove 12 hours to Blackhawk Colorado, played a Terminator (yes, that Terminator) penny slot machine at max coins for ten hours with two friends who were in on the play, won his share of the progressive jackpot and drove 12 hours back to his home sweet home.

Now he is downstairs with bloodshot eyes and a still healing but still injured foot playing hours upon hours of a game called smashing which is pretty much the beloved game of Breakout from the eighties.

I love that crazy man.