Posted by request:

Cindy,

This crush on you that I’ve developed is large. So large that it doesn’t seem quite fair to call it a crush. But there are many things I don’t know about you… important things, so I’ll call it a crush. You may be completely aware of this already, I feel pretty transparent, but for a number of reasons I’ve decided to tell you about it. I know interpersonal emotions aren’t your strong suit, and I’m sorry to do this to you, but I need you to know my feelings. This is hard for me, and I’m not at all sure that it’s the right thing to do. I feel very exposed, but I trust you. Though I fully expect some pain, I think you’ll leave me feeling good about myself. You always do.

I don’t feel like I’ll ever meet anyone remotely like you again, that’s part of what makes this seem so important. Your thoughtfulness, playfulness, intelligence and generosity are disarming. There can’t be many out there with your insight who also like to play with blocks! You’re one of a kind and I’m so drawn to you. Every single day, things that you wrote or said will come randomly into my head and cause me to involuntarily smile or start laughing. I’ve never experienced that to this degree before.

I was about to say that this isn’t the way I’d normally handle something like this, but how would I know? This is not a situation I’ve been in. I don’t really know you, but the things I do know make me want to know everything else. You don’t really know me, and I feel you’ve yet to see the better parts. I’ve been so nervous but I think that getting this out, though terrifying right now, will help me relax and be myself in the future.

We live in very different worlds. We deal with emotions in very different ways. Most of the time I think these differences are too great for you to be interested in me as anything more than a friend. But sometimes I wonder if it is possible that our differences would collide in a beautiful way.

I hope you can be flattered by all of this, and not feel too much pressure. No matter what your feelings toward me, you have all of my respect and I will always do my best to be a good friend to you. I don’t need much from you right now, but if you’re certain that I could never be more than a friend, I need to know that. If you’re not sure, that’s all I need to know, too. I’m not asking you to go into your feelings to any greater depth than that unless you want to.

Having these emotions running rampant through my head (heart) has been keeping me up at night. I’m trusting myself that this means they should be let out. I hope I’m doing the right thing, but I guess it doesn’t matter. I will hit the send button or I won’t. Either way, you will be an amazing person and I’ll consider myself lucky to know you. We’ll both be okay, I’m sure.

Thank you for everything. I’m glad there’s at least one person like you out there.

Love,
Andy