Surfing lesson….today.

I tried to get Andy to postpone it until tomorrow. He said in a wise and sagely voice, “You are ready”. When I told him I was afraid, he said, “Is it the kind of afraid that your scared but really excited, or just scared”. I said, “Does not compute”. Afraid to me, is just afraid. The only reason I’m doing this is that intelectually I know it will be fun, but later, after the afraid part.

Yesterday, I went full on swimming in water where a few times me feet couldn’t touch. After the afraid part, it was pretty fun. The first time the water swelled up and I realized that the bottom of the ocean was out of my reach, I got a little panicky and started to hyperventilate and frantically dog paddle. Andy kept repeating that it was okay and that the water was coming back down.

He was more patient today. Yesterday I reminded him of the “mountain bike incident”, and told him that I was probably more fearful then I was letting on. “The mountain bike incident” involved me not acting as scared as I was. He was at the bottom of a practically vertical drop saying “Come on, you can do it”. It ended with me screaming and all the way down, sure that I was going to die. Crying a few tears when I ended up alive and punching Andy, HARD, in the arm. For the record, “the mountain bike incident” was totally my fault. That is why it worked out so much better yesterday when I admitted my irrational panic to my understanding and loving husband instead of trying to grit my teeth through it. I even felt like I could have stayed in the water longer.

At least I don’t think I look like the kind of girl afraid of the ocean. That counts for something right? The good part about all of this is that I’m the kind of person that needs some time to warm up to certain things, but once I do, I’m completely in.