I’ve been out in the real world and my time with mother internet has suffered. To update you all that were holding your breath, the faking of the gym membership documents worked like a charm. A charm I say. Actually, after everything was said and done, I realized that I could have just called them saying that I had already faxed the paperwork and they wouldn’t have checked. Yes, all you with baited breath I am no longer a member of Las Vegas Athletic Club, and a new member of 24 Hour Fitness.

TEN FIRSTS

First Best Friend: Hollie Luttrell. I think I’ve written about many of our crazy adventures. She lives in Pasadena now.

First Screen Name: Brainchild

First Pet: Edward the siamese cat. It was a funny, funny joke because my last name at the time was Edwards. Edward Edwards…..get it…..funny stuff. I’m assuming that my mom named him, but I’m not sure. He died under suspicious circumstances. My mother has always blamed the Chem Lawn people.

First Piercing: ears…boring, I know. But I was twelve, I mean what do you expect me to get pierced at twelve.

First Crush: Davy Jones from The Monkees.

First Record: Manhattan Transfer. Well, that’s the first record I bought. The first record I owned was Disco Mickey Mouse.

First Car: I inherited my mom’s 1987 grey four door Honda Accord. It was a pretty nice first car.

First Love: Andrew Blair, fourth grade. I peed on his microscope slide in the bathroom and then wouldn’t tell him what it was he was looking at.

First stuffed animal: A ragged pink dog bunny hybrid. It had a metal knob you could turn and it played music.

NINE LASTS

Last Alcoholic Beverage: A very weak screwdriver four hours ago.

Last Car ride: Driving home from “girls night”.

Last Movie Saw: The last half of Enough while sitting in this very purple puffy chair. It was bad, bad, bad.

Last Phone Call: I called Andrew Blair to profess my undying love. He was playing poker so my love is waiting to be professed.

Last CD Played: While packing my friends house to prepare for her move, we listened to Bjork. It was funny because one of the lines was “I won’t know what happens after this weekend” or something like that. She’s moving to Vegas Sunday, so, she’s not going to know what’s going to happen after this weekend. Very deep man…..very…..deep.

Last Bubble bath: I haven’t taken a bubble bath since I’ve been a kid. I’m not a big bath taker.

Last time you cried: Last month in the middle of my hormone induced binge of ice cream and pizza.

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: I married him.

Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? Andrew Blair and ummm David Spade (not together!). But the David Spade thing is just weird, so lets pretend I never said that.

Have you ever been arrested? No.

Have you ever skinny dipped: Some friends and I crashed an apartment complex pool after drinking and went skinny dipping. It looked cool because the pool lights were on, it was pitch black, and there was steam rising from the water. Man, if only David Spade was there…..oops, did I say that outloud?

Have you ever been on TV: The back on my head was on CNN.

Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it? just myself.

Have you ever had sex? Define “sex”.

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING

1. cotton pants from Banana Republic
3. Wedding ring
4. long sleeve cranberry colored t-shirt
5. black lucky brand black short sleeve t over the other one
6. cranberry and black crochet head thing

SIX THINGS YOU’VE DONE TODAY

1. watched American Top Model (It was girl’s night….I had to)
2. made and ate a salad
3. finished faking my documents to get out of my gym contract
4. helped to return $400 worth of merchandise to various stores
5. Ate three spicy tuna hand rolls
6. bought a pair of Diesel shoes that were on sale for $20

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER

1. Andrew Blair
2. my blankey
3. when my butt looks small
4. my fennel flavored Tom’s of Main toothpaste
5. sushi
(also, you could throw in Andrew Blair a few more times.)

THREE CHOICES

1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla (but Vanilla Bean, just so you know I’m a little edgy)

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

Since I am immortal, this question is irrelevant.

ONE THING YOU REGRET

I wouldn’t say that I regret anything. If I had a wish, it might be that I would not have struggled so hard in my twenties to get to the fabulousness of today. Some people get their life lessons easier than others. I seem to have needed anvils dropped on my head for ten years or so.