I was just filing my nails and a random memory popped into my head. I was twelve, maybe thirteen and attending a “modeling” class at Sears. Yes, Sears and Roebuck, that Sears. We were taking part in “grooming” lessons. The instructors had given out little bags of finger/toenail paraphernalia; clippers, a buffer, the little stick to push down your cuticles and a nail file. I also recall a small clear dish of liquid and cotton balls (Madge! You’re soaking in it!???). They were showing us how to file in only one direction, first at one angle, then the other and finally the tip. Then to smooth around the the whole top to make it a ellipse.

On that day, was the only time I ever filed my nails in that manner. Ridiculous. When I file my nails, my teeth are involved, and a circular saw if I’m so inclined.

I also remember at the end of the class there was some sort of fashion show. When it was my turn, I strutted to the end of the runway, and did my little turn on the catwalk (*on the catwalk, on the catwalk*). While each pre teen model hopeful was walking, some Sears beauty official was on a microphone reading off an index card that every girl had filled out earlier. The only part I remember about my card is that it said that I either wanted to be a kindergarten teacher or a vet. She read that part when I was at the end of the turn staring directly at the audience. When I heard it, I thought, “how dumb”. I didn’t really want to be those things, I just felt pressure to put something good down. I rolled my eyes and shrugged a little. It was perfect comedic timing. The audience laughed. My modeling career was over before it began, but my future as a smart ass ham would flourish and still does to this day.

On a slightly different note, we bought a new toilet today for the RV. We brought it home, opened the box only to find out that it had already been used! It had the stench of smelly blue chemicals, the bottom was scuffed, and Andy said that he saw a *ahem* hair. I would tell you more about it, but I’m hoping that Mr. X will post his well written angry letter to Camping World for you to read.