Dear Starbucks,

I know you think your music is ultra cool. I know you even have your own station to promote this particular brand of hip tuneage. But to put it bluntly, it sucks. The music is random, annoying, and pretentious.

Please don’t take this personally because I like almost everything else about your company even though your are a corporate megalith. This is usually something in a company that I despise, but with you….not so much. Anyway, whoever told you that remixing and rereleasing “A Jagged Little Pill” with the only remixing being zithers and a harpsichord should be let go. I mean, you should nice about it and offer a nice severance package. But, it needs to be done, and done quickly.

Thank you,
Cindigodotcom