Live from Green Bay
st_louis_storm_4
Originally uploaded by cindigodotcom.
The picture is taken from the plane window flying into Chicago from St. Louis after being diverted there because of tornados. There’s a few more posted on my flickr page if you’re interested.
Andy got in last night. This morning we’re on the way to Green Bay to visit Andy’s sister, our new niece and Andy’s parents. I thought I should stay, but my mom kept insisting that I go. I think she wants me gone because she doesn’t want me to see her vulnerability. When Andy got here I felt like crying. He broke and continues to break down the unnecessary toughness in me. It’s a good thing. My mom was never very good at dealing with weakness, in her, or anyone else. These are just my theories, they may or may not be true.
Yesterday was the first time Bob said he was in pain. We gave him six drops of morphine under his tongue. This morning he was awake. Andy came in and he was happy to see him. He said that he considers me a daughter and loves me very much. Also, that if he had another son, that Andy would be it.
My mom was there holding his hand. He told her that he almost went to heaven again. Two nights ago he told my mom that he went to heaven but he didn’t see anyone. She told him the next time he was there to look for his mother and other people that would help him. He thanked her and said it was a very good idea. This morning he said he didn’t go and wanted to stay here because he had to thank everyone for all the nice things they’re doing for him. Then he told my mom that when this is all over he wants to take her out to a nice dinner, something really fancy. With a few tears in her eyes and a shaky voice, she said that she would like that very much.
Bob and my mom have been married for sixteen years. They married when I was a freshman in college. When I was 22, sitting at the kitchen table, Bob offered to adopt me. He was serious. We all kind of laughed, because I was 22, and who does that. But the offer really touched me and I still think of it sometimes. He always treated me like a daughter and even though I didn’t need anymore rearing, it was nice.
I may go home tomorrow, despite my mom’s protests.
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