My mom has cat shampoo in her shower. They haven’t owned a cat for at least fifteen years. I already knew the answer, but I had to ask anyway. When I did, she said, “Well, cats are so fluffy and shiny, I just thought….”.

Bob said he went to heaven again. When we asked him what was there, he paused for a long time and said, “dental equipment”. Bob retired as a dentist in 1995. It’s not really my idea of heaven, but, to each his own. Also, as a funny joke that no one gets, at his funeral he’s requested the song “Crown Him With Many Crowns” to be played. When my mom asked him how many crowns he thinks he’s put in during his career, he said, “That remains to be seen”.

This morning the nurses aid came to change the sheets and give him a bath. He was exhausted afterwards but couldn’t seem to go to sleep. I asked him if he wanted some sleeping drops. He said yes, so I put them under his tongue. Maybe two seconds afterward he made a snorting, choking noise. I panicked. My mom was in the kitchen and started laughing. She said that she knew what he was making a joke and pretending to snore. It was funny, but it took me a few minutes for my heart to stop beating so fast.