I am sitting on the tan living room couch. Yes, out of the white, puffy bed and onto the couch. My Sunday is consisting of switching the television between a BBC marathon of Absolutely Fabulous and a SciFi original called Snake King starring one of the less fortunate Baldwins….I think Shekky Baldwin.

I’m eating handfulls of Whoppers (the original malted milk balls), downloading music illegally and feeling okay about both. Eating the waxy maltballs should be fine, the container says 30% less fat. Although I’d probably be better off by just shoving tablespoons of white sugar directly in my mouth.