Back Pedaling
I hope I wasn’t too harsh on my mom in the last entry. I mean, I love the woman and everything. I’m here lugging around dusty quasi junk for a garage sale instead of doing yoga, hiking in Red Rocks and hanging out with zombie couchsurfers. Actions speak louder than words right? She’s just a hard woman to eulogize, especially when she’s in your face asking for the thousandth time, “Are you sure you’re okay with not having a job? I mean what to you do with your day?”.
I could say she was very involved with people’s lives.
Alright, so I’ve got:
Helene: She was a different kind of lady. She had moxie. Some say her kids were pretty cool. She liked to be involved in people’s lives and give advice that she thought would be helpful.
She is pretty funny, but I don’t know if she means to be all the time. One small thing that makes me giggle to this day is when she and Bob visited us in Las Vegas a few years ago. We were at Quarks bar at the Hilton Casino. It’s a replica, or at least a faxcimilie of the real one in I think Deep Space Nine. The menu had all kinds of regular food renamed as “Star Trek” food. Isolenear chips and dip, Ferengie fries and so forth.
My mom straight faced asked the waitress for a ham-Borg-er, knowing absolutely nothing about Borgs or anything about Star Trek at all. I crack up. Andy cracks up. My mom looks at us in confusion and says, “what’s so funny? It says hamborger. Right there, ham-borg-er”.
Maybe that one was only funny if you were there. But trust me, it was funny.
Today we came across a small woven basket of nail clippers. I remember compiling this basket when we were cleaning out her and Bob’s house after he died. There’s like 40 clippers in there. Apparently Bob could never find clippers, so he just went out and bought more. My mom wanted to put the basket of clippers next to the guest book at the funeral with a sign that read, “please take one in remembrance of Bob”. Sick and wrong, but funny. Also showing restraint because she didn’t actually do it.
Seriously, any eulogizing bones you guys want to throw me are welcome here.






