Space Rangers,
originally uploaded by cindigodotcom.

I’m typing to you from Helen’s blue, never to become retro, couch in LA. She left in a flurry of lateness this morning and gave instructions that included a zip lock bag of keys being thrown over a wall. I’m driving to San Diego in a few minutes where I will meet up with Andy to spend the next four or five days running around to various fun things like the beach and the zoo.

But, what I want to tell you about most is Disneyland. It turned out to be a really fun fourteen hour day. Yes, you heard it. We spent fourteen hours at Disney Land. We had planned on going later in the day but I bought tickets for half price on ebay and the instructions were clear that they were to be picked up between 8 and 8:30 in the morning. We were meeting Helen at 4 and she laid down the law that we would be staying for the fireworks at 9:30. By the time we were pretty warn out at 2, it was almost time for our chaperon to arrive.

Helen: Disney Nazi or Best Tour Guide EVER? Survey says….she’s the best! Although the fireworks ended up being canceled because of high winds.

The picture above was not staged. It didn’t feel like we were that serious about helping Buzz Lightyear out. As for my low score. I’m pretty sure my gun was half broken. No. Seriously. It was. After the ride, there are tv’s where you can send your picture to your email for free.

We ate breakfast, felt pretty good and headed into the park just as it was opening. The first ride, Soarin’ Over California was pretty cool. It lifted you up in chair and had a wrap around movie screen. It looked and felt like you were flying over major California attractions complete with smells of orange groves and pine trees. Very mellow and a great start to the day.

Before I go on, let me tell you that I do not like rides that make me feel like my life is in peril. Even the feris wheel is not of very much interest to me. I’ll go if the people I’m with want to, but it’s not something I would choose to do if I were alone. But today was special and because of that, I was considering on going on some rides that I wouldn’t normally do. Andy loves them, and really, who wants to be the guy waiting at the exit when everyone else is seeming to have so much fun.

The second ride was called Tower of Terror. You might think with a name like that I would have second thoughts, but, the first ride was so mellow and all the other rides seemed to be really kid themed, I thought it would just be like a haunted house tour in slow moving cars on a winding track. I walked in feeling pretty calm until we went into the decaying hotel’s “elevator” and a roll bar was locked into place over my shoulders. I grabbed Andy’s hand and said, “they’re going to drop us”. He was calmly trying to explain why they wouldn’t, that the floor was right there and there was a ceiling. I started breathing hard and repeated, “they’re going to drop us”. Ten seconds later the ride shot up to a ridiculous height and….dropped us. Then for what seemed like an eternity repeated the process of shooting up and dropping down while in between opening the elevator doors to show some gruesome hotel horror. I never saw any of this since my head was buried in Andy shoulder while I was screaming for my eternal soul non stop.

When the ride did come to a stop I was crying inconsolable tears. Yes people, I’m 37 years old and I was crying like a 2 year old. I couldn’t breath, I was hyperventilating and feeling as close to a panic attack as I have ever been. To add insult to injury, the was a cute, blonde, pony tailed, bubbly seven-ish year old girl sitting behind us. When the ride was over she got up, started clapping and jumping, chanting, “Can we go again?! Can we go again?!”

So embarassing.

We got out into the light and sat on a bench while Andy consoled me. The problem with this kind of crying is, when I tap into it, it’s very hard to get back into control. It only happens once in a while and to now has usually only been triggered by movies. (*upcomming movie spoiler alerts) Even though Castaway was not that great of a movie, I started quietly sobbing the minute he was inspecting his band aid in the plane bathroom and was sucked out into the ocean the whole time until he was rescued. During Wall-E, most of the time while tooling around on the planet alone or when loses his girl bot I’m a mess of silent movie theater tears. Into the Wild, the end death scene, I don’t think I could get out of the red, puffy chair for half an hour.

Any armature (professional?) psychiatrists out there? Sensing a theme?

And now, Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. I’m sitting on a bench in front of the Monsters Inc. ride, throat hurting, body aching, feeling foolish and inconsolable all at the same time. Then, my sensitive, accurate husband Andy folds his arms around me and says “I’m sorry you didn’t feel protected as a child”. All the tears that I felt I had nearly gotten under control, broke forth again and I collapsed into Andy’s arms a lumpy, soggy, vulnerable, mess.

After I had worked it out, the next ride we went on was The Muppets 3D Adventure. It was actually good. Both of us feel that we received much of our comedic training/timing from those lovable puppets growing up. The rest of the day gradually got better and by noon with a bowl of soup and California sunshine we were both having a great time.

Helen showed up a 4:30 and fed us the largest piece of chocolate cake I’ve ever seen and took us to some of her favorite rides. Near the end of the day, not wanting to be crippled by an amusement park ride, I agreed to go on the Indiana Jones Adventure Ride. With open eyes, deep breathing and a strong desire not to be emotionally crippled, I did it. Not bad. Not a fan yet, but baby steps are good. Who knows, maybe next time, Space Mountain.